Ups And Downs

United Parcel Service ⇒ (“UPS”, package tracker ⇒) is an international courier of parcels and urgent letters. The corporation also operates its own airline, less than truckload trucking company, and franchises retail outlets that offer shipping and printing services. The corporation was formed by a merger of Seattle area American Messenger Company and Merchants Parcel Delivery in 1913 and earned common carrier status in 1940s.

Brown is central to the brand identity of UPS. The highly visible logos, delivery trucks, and delivery driver uniforms are and have been that color for years. There was even a marketing slogan, “What can Brown do for you?”, that sought to reinforce the idea of the corporation’s brownness. A founding partner suggested the color very early in the companies history because brown is easier to clean than the yellow that another founding partner was intending to use. Pullman Brown, the specific shade used by UPS, was inspired by the shade that the Pullman Palace Car Company ⇒ used on railroad cars.

UPS has managed to trademark the color brown within the shipping/courier industries due to the pervasive use of the color brown throughout parts of their business for decades. In America, the 1995 Supreme Court case Qualitex Co. v. Jacobson Products Co. ⇒ ruled that color can be trademarked in limited cases by unanimous decision. Essentially, no other courier or freight company can use that specific color lest there be marketplace confusion in America without the threat of a possible credible lawsuit filed by UPS.

Initial Confusion

Health, Athleticism, Body Mechanics, Inspect, Tools and Equipment, and Safety Compliance are the habits described on the HABITS shirt. In this case, the acronym actually should be HABMITAEASC. It would be unfair to expect anyone to guess the words that the letters are supposed to mean. Such a sloppy way of expressing the textual idea to stay safe on the job to keep the corporation’s insurance costs low reeks of design by committee.

The Math

Putting in 20,000 safe work days as mentioned on the back of the “Columbus Day Sort” shirt within unnecessary quotation marks ⇒ would come out to almost 55 years straight. 54.7581853 years to be exact.

Look Under The Hood

Both the Brown and Gold hoodies get extra wear in the winter. I subscribe to the multiple thin layers rather than one thick layer theory of staying warm through cold weather. In the fall and spring the hoodie could be the only extra layer needed. Gold is warmer than Brown so I obviously take the temperature into account when deciding which to wear after making the decision to wear.

Hood jackets are more expensive to make than regular t-shirts so I am not surprised that there have not been more donated to me. That does not stop me from enjoying this type of garment. The hood can be helpful for blocking wind. I know that the hood can also create a degree of anonymity, but I do not have need for that use all that often.

Worthless Notes

Most of the this shirts were earned and paid for with an internal currency, “UPS Bucks”, redeemable only on certain days per the discretion of management. From what I understand, the Great Recession put an end to the redemption opportunities in the name of cutting costs. Without the sponsoring entity recognizing the internal currency, the only value of UPS bucks is sentimental.

Sweat Of The Brow

I appreciate the physical labor that Donor, Receiver, & Proofreader Brian* put forth to convert into UPS Bucks that were in turn converted into shirts for me to wear. Physical exertion is not a requirement nor an incentive for inclusion into the Free Shirt Archive, but should at least be duly noted along with his long-standing support of the site. I, for one, would rather not do what he had to do to get these shirts; I might be hesitant to give what I would have then earned.

Disparate Highlights

Despite all of them being from the same person about the same corporation there are disparate highlights that together form something greater than the sum of its parts. I do not know what, but something.

Black was given to me by Brian after an X-mas Day party where he unleashed septic flatulence upon the gathered celebrants through multiple rooms. Brown was given to me because Brian realized that he only wore it around his place because it is too small for him. “Columbus Day Sort” was a leftover shirt that no one else on the day sort even wanted. Gold arrived exactly when I needed an additional layer to face the winter after being forced to walk because I fell on and bent the spokes of the back tire of my bicycle. Grey Green was donated because Brian did not want to bare his midriff. Grey was given to me by Brian after a Thanksgiving dinner that he slept through. HABITS was earned for completing a form of safety training. Jobs was given to Brian by a supervisor “just because” for no UPS Buck and with no extra creepiness involved according to testimony. Red was selected when Brian gave me the choice between that and a blue shirt; both of which were earned for a night’s worth of hard work clearing an objective for the company. White was sent to my post office box at the time in a first instance of that method of delivery.

Not The Post Office

I have been involved in arguments that I ultimately win about whether or not UPS and United States Postal Service ⇒ (“USPS”) are the same thing. They are separate entities. UPS which is under no obligations or charter than to their shareholders whereas USPS was created from previous incarnations of Post Offices as such a utility is called for by the United States Constitution in Article 1, Section 8, Clause 7 ⇒. UPS is a for-profit public corporation listed on the New York Stock Exchange. The USPS is an independent government agency that is granted a monopoly to deliver non-urgent letters at affordable prices to mailboxes in the United States of America. UPS and USPS do both compete parcel and international mail delivery.