Is It Still Goo To Ya?

GU ⇒ is energy gel made by the GU Energy Labs. The gel is sold in 100 calories portions contained within small packets. GU was developed by a chemist in the early 1990s to help his long-distance running daughter avoid gastrointestinal issues during competition.

Along with the shirt, Donor Aunt Barb* was also able to donate boxes of packets of the three flavors available back in the 1990s. The Just Plain flavor taste was sweet enough to make you forget that you were consuming gel. Chocolate Outrage was an outrage alright; the chocolate flavor tasted like tar to me. Orange Outburst had a general citrus taste more so than taste orange specifically.

Things may have changed since the 1990s. I would not know. I have not partaken of any GU since the last box that Aunt Barb gave me for free. The gel is marketed towards and priced at people that compete in extreme sports. I do know that the Orange Outburst flavor has had a name change to Mandarin Orange and a multitude of new flavors were brought to market the company after I had my last packet. I guess I got so used to getting GU for free that paying for that product seems odd.

Self-propulsion

The back of the shirt presents a demand to “PROPEL YOURSELF” through yellow 3-D letters riding on top of a comet with a purple coma and tail supplemented with orange and yellow accents on the edges of the tail. Awesome. This is one of my favorite design elements throughout the Free Shirt Archive. I realize that part of my enjoyment of this design is rooted in nostalgia. The execution of the design has admittedly aged over time, but when I was young I thought this design looked sweet. Still, I quite enjoy the positive vibe that the design gives off, absurdity of the textual directive and the preposterousness of the visual concept independent of time.

I remember other schoolkids used to tease me by telling me to propel myself in that boring, sarcastic tone that they were taught to speak in by television sitcoms. In their minds, the design was cause to remind me that I was not conforming. Whatever. I liked this shirt and continued to wear it at public school. I still wear this shirt, but most people grew up and stopped providing their opinion about this shirt.

Redemption Equals Death

Long-time readers of the Free Shirt Archive might recall that I had asked for free used packets of GU so that I could use them for redemption purposes. Soliciting garbage was a terrible idea. I am fortunate that no one took me up on that idea.

Redemption schemes are no longer considered to be sufficiently free for inclusion into the Free Shirt Archive. GU packet donations, Coca-Cola {NFL & 1996 Olympics/Sarasota 4th of July Downtown Festival}{} bottle caps, and SoBe {Fuerte, Lizard Lightning, & Racing} bottle caps are expressly prohibited. Even if I were to collect enough of these to achieve redemption, the shirt that I would receive in return would now only merit inclusion into the Less Than Free Shirt Archive.