Free Shirt Archive

Associates

Archivist — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:37:53 +0000

Assoc.

Associates First Capital Corporation ⇒ (“The Associates”) was acquired by Citi Group ⇒ in 2000 after an 82 year long run as its own financial services company. Considering how many companies are named as Associates, I want to point out that, under the 1960 heading of Citi’s history of The Associates ⇒, a “Triangle A” shape is described which can also be seen on the front of this shirt.

Meat Turned To Spam

The domain name printed on the front of this shirt now points to some random spam site that provides a healthy dose of keyword stuffing. I do not want to grant that site any traffic. Therefore, I will not directly link there.

Citi had maintained an advertisement page for their own financial services at the URL For a number of years after the Associates acquisition. I used to link to that page for the sake of completeness. Link rot happens. When I find out about it, I take action.

Vultures

Credit card companies used to send representatives to college campuses and events throughout America Previous to the passage of the Credit CARD Act of 2009 ⇒. These days, the companies can not give gifts in exchange for applications and the booths have be 1000 feet/305 meters off of campus. Back then, however, the representatives were downright obnoxious about calling attention to their trinkets and collecting applications.

Lazy & Dumb

None, however, quite annoy me like this particular shirt does. What offends me most about this shirt is the laziness of the content and design. I get the strong feeling that the design was made to please an older boss rather than address the potential costumer between the condescending view college life and the grungy font selection that is closer to what a baby boomer would think had appeal to a young person than what actually did even in the early 2000s. Most of the attempts at humor about this shirt refers to acts that anecdotal college students are supposed to perform due to a supposed lack of funds whilst living within a frat house.

The format of “You might be _ if _” jokes that is utilized on the back of this shirt is so dumb. If that formula had any novelty, Jeff Foxworthy’s southern comedy ran the formula into the ground years ago. Nonetheless, this is what the writer decided would work best, and which some manager green-lighted.

Considering that half of the conditionals for being a college student are about food, the likelihood that this project reached the writer and designer before lunch break is quite high. Using coupons for ramen noodles, which normally cost between a dime or a quarter per pillow including broth, is likely not a realistic possibility. Anyone that is foolish enough to misinterpret mac and cheese as a balanced meal would not have been able to do well on either the ACT or the SAT. Finally, the shirt is not clear on how this 4 days a week pizza habit occurs. The delivery of multiple hot pizzas is an entirely different scenario than stretching out leftovers.

The most confusing bucket list item that a college student must do is to write a check for 65 cents. One need not be ashamed to buy pop from a vending machine or a board game from a thrift shop. The results of writing that check go from innocuous to costly. Provided that the person or company to whom the check is being written to accepts checks, there is nothing that special about paying for a low-priced good or service from an an active checking account. Not having 65 cents in a checking account and then writing a check is truly senseless because that check will bounce and the overdraft charge will be something like 20 dollars.

Zealot Clef

Archivist — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:16:14 +0000

The Show

Zealot Clef has been the name of Donor & Donor Jess*‘s musical outlet for years. Zealot Clef played blues-inspired rock rather than the goth that the font used in this design would seem to indicate. The particular incarnation of Zealot Clef for which this shirt was created was for a lineup that also included Donor Tony*, almost-donor Bailey, and non-donor Chuck.

That lineup ultimately played one show due to conflicting schedules. I was at that show and had a good time. The songs were performed with gusto. Chuck performed a drum solo that brought the house down.

I strolled backstage at the venue and saw how small and boring that backstage can be. I would not feel comfortable leaving my stuff back there considering how quickly that room could be unloaded.

I also remember non-donor Meghan drinking to excess and then puking on non-donor Colette. That was so not cool of Meghan. “Rock n’ roll” is only an excuse when the only person that is being hurt is oneself. Fortunately, Jess gave Colette a free Zealot Clef shirt as well.

Chuck

The concert was the only time that I had ever met Chuck. He drummed with the same joy that he brought to conversation. I wish that I had more opportunities to converse with him.

In Praise Of Vinyl

This shirts remains the only shirt throughout the collection that features vinyl printing. So far, I have no complaints about the quality of vinyl on this shirt. I have worn and had this shirt washed by a machine numerous times, and the design still sticks and is as colorful as it was for the show.

It is my hope that more people who commission shirts give vinyl a chance. Vinyl is a nice change of pace and the costs should go down with bulk.

I know of no Zealot Clef recordings that have been pressed into a phonograph record. Actually, I do not know of any recordings being made available to the public.

State Line Tack

Archivist — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:27:49 +0000

High Horse

State Line Tack ⇒ is an online horse products retailer owned and operated by pet commerce site corporation TABcom ⇒. Previously, the retailer was a subsidiary of PetSmart {I Had A Lively Leapin, Knowingly Nurtured, Playfully Pampered, Purrfectly Priced, Bright ‘N Bubbly, Gorgeously Groomed, Totally Trained Time At PetSmart} which operated State Line Tack departments within some PetSmart stores along with standalone brick and mortar State Line Tack stores. The name is derived from the combination of the original store being located in Plainstow, New Hampshire on the Massachusetts border and tack being the collective name for horse equipment and accessories.

The three two logos on the back of the shirt relate to products made by Vita Flex ⇒. Glutasyn Pure was a formulated horse mother’s milk replacement. Equinyl ⇒ is horse arthritis medicine. Donor Clare* was given this shirt after the purchase of Vita Flex products for her two horses.

Charley Horse

I am not sure when the stains on the front of this shirt appeared. Nor am I sure as to what the stains are. I tend to wear this shirt when I know that I am going to be bumming around.

Dark Horse

I like this shirt. This is possibly because I have no interest in horses thereby making this shirt an exposure to a scene that I am not ever going to join. Horses cost a bunch of labor, money, and time that I would rather spend doing nearly anything else due to a lack of interest. Do not mistake my apathy for hate or dislike; I simply just do not care enough to have any feelings.

Coming up with germane content for this dossier is difficult, but that does not mean that I am apathetic to the shirt. I actually like the simplicity of the design. Fortunately, no one with equestrian interests has ever engaged me in conversation starting with this shirt. What could I even say?

Nonetheless, probably because I did not understand the shirt at donation time, it easily fit into my rotation of shirts.

Loomis, Fargo & Co.

Archivist — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:08:51 +0000

Deliverance

Loomis, Fargo & Company (“Loomis Fargo”) was an American corporation that existed for five years to ran armored cars to transport cash and other valuables. The business was created as division through a merger between Wells Fargo Armored Services (“WFAS”) and Loomis Armored Incorporated in 1996. WFAS was a separate company from the famous Wells Fargo ⇒ company because all railroad express delivery businesses were nationalized by the United States Government during World War I. Loomis, Fargo was acquired by Swedish corporation Securitas ⇒ and then absorbed into the Securitas Cash Handling Services division. That division has since been renamed Loomis ⇒.

I clearly remember the Wells Fargo armored cars from my youth. Yet, I have no memory of seeing a Loomis Fargo truck. Without the shirt, I probably would never have known of Loomis Fargo because I normally do not concern myself with armored car services.

United By Trust

The Free Shirt Archive is a celebration of thrift and friendship. Meanwhile, transporting money is a matter of security and high expense. While these ideas might seem opposed at an abstract level of analysis, I think that trust unites both sets of ideas.

At a more concrete level I wear shirts that might seem that I should disagree with in some way. First off, I have no objections whatsoever to the safe transport of cash or other valuables. More importantly, I do not conflate mere consumption with expression. Legitimate expression, I feel, requires some sort of production. Indeed, the site is how I express myself about the shirts rather than actually wearing the clothing.

Little Out Nothing In

This cheapskate does not like to pay out. Through the site-wide celebration of friendship, reuse and thrift, it should be clear that I do not like spending money. True friends do not ask you to spend money to hang out. Reuse squeezes value out of products in addition to usually being the ethical thing to do. Spending less by consuming less, comparing costs, figuring out greater efficiencies, and appreciating the quality of less over the quantity of more is the essence of thrift.

As far as taking money in, this site makes no money whatsoever and probably never will. It matters not. My concern with this project is to create a a site that I like in case the reader cares. Those that care deserves honesty. Creative control is required to provide that honesty.

PetSmart {I Had A Lively Leapin, Knowingly Nurtured, Playfully Pampered, Purrfectly Priced, Bright ‘N Bubbly, Gorgeously Groomed, Totally Trained Time At PetSmart}

Archivist — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 01:02:44 +0000

Pet Peeve Store

PetSmart ⇒ is a chain of domesticated pet and pet supply stores with locations throughout the United States and Canada. Most locations within the chain also offer grooming and training services. The company formerly owned the equestrian tack store State Line Tack.

Section headings do not necessarily reflect reality. I do not have reason to patronize this company which leaves no opportunity for there to be anything that truly annoys me. Sometimes, simple jokes are all that one can say.

Cat Person Or Dog Person?

Arf!

Quite A Day

The litany of adjectives used in the title of this shirt sure speaks to an eventful day. As a young child full of wonder, I enjoyed watching animals at a shop that no longer exists. Just looking at the animals also absolved me of having any of the responsibilities of cleaning up after or providing food for the pet that I was too young to be responsible for at that time.

If I were to try to replicate having such a day now, I know that even if I saw every one of the animals listed that doing so would not have the substantive effect I experienced when I did not know any better. Indeed, the last time that I went to a PetSmart occurred without incident. I accompanied non-donor George as he bought a rat for his pet snake to eat.

Quite A Couple Of Days

I had agreed to volunteer for Donor Dan* over a period of two days in addition to attending Donor, Receiver, & Donor Ian* ‘s graduation party without realizing that I was overbooking myself. The only possible way that I could do both was if I were to drive down at the end of the first 8 hour day of volunteering and drive back up after spending sufficient time at the party to then put in a second 8 hour day. So I did.

As soon as I finished at the end of the first day of volunteering, I met up with Donor Josh* and Donor Phil* and we drove three hours down to the party. Josh also had to be back at work in the next morning, so he and I drove back. That drive took more than three hours because Josh smartly decided that we should eat at a Denny’s ⇒ to get a second wind allowing us to get home in the early morning.

I tried to sleep but was unable to do so because I knew that I was due back at the volunteer location in the morning. I arrived at the location’s parking lot earlier than anyone else. Donor, Donor, Receiver, & Proofreader Adam* met me there and provided me with this free shirt without prior notice. I thought that was so cool. I gave all I had on the second volunteer day. Afterwards, I went right back home to sleep.

It was nice to see all manner of friends and acquaintances. It would have been better if I could have seen more of each. Lesson learned.

Chipotle {Braising Is Amazing, Green & Life Is Burritoful}

Archivist — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 20:03:53 +0000

Foil Wrapper

Chipoltle Mexican Grill ⇒ is a chain of fast casual restaurants that sells large burritos and salads. The interior design of each restaurant focus on sheet metal, wood, and signed prints of corporate buildings and signage. All 1000+ locations are company-owned. The company started off as an independent, was sold to McDonald’s ⇒, and was then finally divested into a public traded company.

Similar to Subway {I Make This Look Easy, Don’t I?} I often eat at Chipotle for convenience and value. I do realize that restaurant serves fast food. Therefore, I do not think that I can make health.

One of my favorite memories of Chipotle was when Donor & Contributor Tom*‘s first attempt at eating a burrito. He did not think that the burrito would be a challenge. He ended up having to admit defeat. As did I when I had my first burrito, but I was alone and would never have boasted if someone else was around. Do note that rising food costs have taken away the portion size of this era of memories.

For a period of time, Qdoba Mexican Grill ⇒ and Chipotle tasted eerily similar before Qdoba changed. I have wondered how this happened and why the change occurred, but have not found any documentation in my search. In this case, I have not searched that thoroughly for the answer because as time goes on the memory of the similar taste fades.

Knowing The Right People

My acquisition of all three of these shirts are due to Donor Jane*‘s connections within the company. Braising Is Amazing was given to her daughter as part of a new uniform, and which was also available for sale. The Green shirt is an old employee-only shirt of early 2000s vintage given that went through a number of people including Jane and then Tom who gave it to me along with a WWII poster. Jane was able to get Life Is Burritoful by talking to a friend at the company about a friend that she knew that runs a website about shirts.

Considering The Claims

Whether or not life is burritoful or not depends on how an individuals feels about eating Mexican food. I tend to eat burritos from this restaurant. Thus, my life is relatively burritoful. There have been times it has been absolutely burritoful, but I am prone to burnout.

As far as being beautiful, from which the wordplay originates, I would have to say that parts are and other parts are not. Life is so full of complexity that unless a person if very young, there will always be a bunch of good and bad.

The extent to which braising is amazing is beyond my experience as the only meat I ever get at the restaurant is the marinated and grilled chicken. Braising involves placing meat in liquid and cooking both at a low temperature for an extended period of time. The beef (cow) barbacoa and the pork (pig) carnitas served at the restaurant are braised.

Key West, Florida

Archivist — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:41:47 +0000

Lock East

Key West is a city located in the Florida Keys archipelago islands just south of the main State of Florida peninsula. The city is the county seat of Monroe County, which also includes some area in the South Western corner of the peninsula. The main industries in town are tourism and fishing. There is a strong pre-revolution Cuban cultural influence about the area considering that it is, as United States President John F. Kennedy () noted, “90 miles from Cuba”. Famous people that stayed in town for various amounts of time include U.S. President Harry S. Truman ⇒, Ernest Hemingway ⇒, and Tennessee Williams ⇒.

I have never been to Key West, but I think that I would like it based upon the near certainty that there would be no snow or ice. There not yet been any winter weather recorded in Key West. I realize that past performance does not determine future activity, and perhaps I would have the bad luck of arriving during a hurricane. Still, no snow nor ice is tempting.

Conch Republic

The most amusing story I know of about Key West is that in 1982 there was a U.S. Border Patrol ⇒ checkpoint at the main thoroughfare into town which is US Route 1. The Mayor and City Council were concerned with the impact that the situation was having on tourism. In response, Key West pretended to secede from the US and set up a micronation known as the Conch Republic. A “WELCOME TO CONCH REPUBLIC” sign that still remains today was placed on the building of the Key West International Airport ⇒. Conch in this context is a general nickname for city residents. This created enough media attention that the Border Patrol pulled out.

Landlord

I remember one of the landlords that I rented from also owned and wore a copy of this shirt. He informed me that he had to pay for his while on vacation. We never wore the shirt at the same time. Both of us knew, however, that the other had good taste.

I wish that this landlord had been my landlord at other places where I have lived. He fixed everything, but did not get involved with personal politics. As I have found out, not every landlord does good by their renters. I did my part by paying on time and not destroying anything.

Greatest Bench Press In America

Archivist — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 01:04:38 +0000

On The Bench

Powerlifting ⇒ involves a participant performing three squats ⇒, three bench presses ⇒, and and three deadlifts. Greatest Bench Press in America was at least a powerlifting-related event held at the Majestic Theatre ⇒ in Dallas sometime during 1996 ⇒. Between the name of the event and not being able to find much information online or offline on the matter, I do not know if this event was bench press only or if a full slate of powerlifting occurred.

Whatever happened, John Inzer rocked a mullet ⇒ and sponsored the event through his Inzer Advance Designs ⇒ powerlifting clothing company. The drawn bench presser is shown wearing an Inzer singlet. This over the top advertising leads me to believe that the event was not officially sanctioned by any powerlifting governing body.

Moving Weight

I obtained this shirt because Donor Jane*‘s friend Misha was moving to be with her dude Ken who was the original owner of this shirt. Misha had the novel idea to mail most of her remaining belongings through the United States Postal Service ⇒. Not everything was to be sent, so Misha had a yard sale where everything was for free. Jane picked this shirt and Key West, Florida up for donation to this archive.

I have wondered if Ken knew that I ended up with this shirt, or if he even cared. I usually do not know too many owners back in a chain of ownership, thereby avoiding this type of curiosity. In this case, I only ever sort of knew him. He has probably forgotten me.

I Will Not Lift A Finger

I am sure that some people who find their way to this page will want to know how much weight I can bench press. There is no answer. I have never tried because I find weightlifting too boring. Whatever weight I would be capable of lifting is sure to be laughably weak. I am find with that just as I am with other people that enjoy lifting doing so.

Other people having difficulty processing the incongruity of a non-weightlifter wearing a shirt like this happens on occasion. I do not intend to cause confusion; I just want to wear a free shirt.

Cheerleaders Are Not Just Team Mates They’re Best Friends

Archivist — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 19:25:53 +0000

All The Rallies Will Never Set Them Free

Cheerleading is a full-contact performance of collective gymnastics and collective dance meant to inspire enthusiasm. Oftentimes, the cheerleading team is affiliated with a sports team or few and appear at those events. There are also cheerleading competitions between cheerleading squads. To be clear, I respect the athleticism of cheerleading.

Socially, however, I do not care for the disproportionate status boost that being a cheerleader provides because this attracts people that are selfish and superficial rather than only those committed to spreading good cheer. Obviously, I do not mean that every individual cheerleader is selfish and superficial. What I mean is that selfish and superficial people tend to crave social status. Cheerleading happens to be one of an assortment of social utilities, such as law school or the Apple Store ⇒, that are not bad in and of themselves but which are used by social climbers to attain status at the expense of developing worthwhile friendships.

From what I understand, the base pay for cheerleading at professional sporting events is very low per game though one can be augmented somewhat through additional appearance fees. A practical requirement would be to have an additional job and consider cheerleading to be supplemental income and a chance to get public exposure.

The potential for a college scholarship for cheerleading is an opportunity to cash in on school spirit. If the market is there, a cheerleader ought to take advantage. When I have attended college athletic competitions, I have noticed a higher number of male cheerleaders than at any other level.

The institution of high school cheerleading seems to thrive due to taxpayers wanting to indulge in vicarious living. For some, high school was the peak of their lives. To be able to relive those times through a younger person provides an opportunity to reinforce a diluted form of a memory. People from all subcultures like to have the decisions that they made in life reaffirmed. Seeing local youngsters allows a certain part of the adult audience to go back in time while also outwardly supporting their own kid or their neighbor’s kid. I find this to be creepy.

Friends Are Preferable To Team Mates

The shirt implies that team mates are automatically friends. Humans are too varied for such a blanket statement to be true. Then again, if the definition of a friend is rendered meaningless to the point that anyone who is not actively an enemy then I suppose the statement is possible.

I would prefer to not redefine what a friend is because I have a number of true, quality friends. None of them, to the best of my knowledge, have ever been cheerleaders. So it goes. I am not opposed to befriending a cheerleader, but so far it just has not happened.

I can not even recall if I have ever been team mates with any of my friends in an organized setting. Informal teams are much more fun to me. I have been team mates, and opposition, of countless donors and friends. It is just a part of the fun of informal games. Let’s be real; friendship is much more valuable than being team mates. Each individual friend is more interesting and special than whichever teams into which we decide to split. To think about in parlance of this shirt, I would state that “Friends are Team Mates in addition to being Friends, but being Team Mates does not matter outside the game at present”.

The Free Shirt Archive is a celebration of friendship. I look at this site as nothing less than as a way to acknowledge that my friends have given me material gifts in addition to the greatest gift of friendship over time. I wear these shirts not just for myself, but also to demonstrate to my friends that I appreciate what they do for me. Not doing so would be dishonorable. If by mentioning them on a website means that I provide donors with the benefit that other people know that they are generous, I suppose that is a small repayment. I like to think, though, that I do more to better their lives than by merely mentioning them on a website. If not, I have some extra work to do.

Junga For Judge

Archivist — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 02:08:46 +0000

Judge Lest Ye Be Elected Judge

After serving 10+ years as a public defender, Attorney Christopher T. Junga ⇒ earned the opportunity to run unopposed to represent the Republican party in the race for one of seventeen judgeships of the county’s Common Pleas Court General Division ⇒. Junga then ran against the incumbent Democrat Judge Laurel Beatty ⇒ on the November 2, 2010 Franklin Country (Ohio) General Election Ballot. Both candidates decried judicial activism ⇒ during their campaigns.

Junga received 83,241 votes (page 3) ⇒. That amount, however, accounted for only 32% of the total ⇒. Beatty was victorious. Her second term started on January 6th, 2011 and will conclude on the same day in year 2017.

Missed Opportunity

Neither the race nor the General Election had a ballot cast by me. I failed in my duties as a citizen. There is no excuse, it just did not happen. I missed my chance to vote for Junga. I only cast non-partisan ballots during primaries, so I was bound to miss the first opportunity to vote for him on principle.

They Do Not Even Pretend To Want My Vote

Shirts from political campaigns that end up on this site have yet to be from candidates that win. I think a reason is that I also do not receive shirts from incumbents that already hold the office. The other is that I am too little of a person with far too few dollars to target even though I operate a website that could reach some people.

No candidate nor their election committee has ever directly given me a promotional shirt. My donations are from those people that are deemed worthy. Those worthy people do not get the shirt to me until after the results have been determined. Fortunately, I do not mind receiving shirts after the campaign has concluded. I do not have to worry about the appearance of endorsement.