Free Shirt Archive

Fish Stamps

Archivist — Wed, 16 May 2012 18:00:00 +0000

Abandon Ship!

This button-down collared shirt features a rare design within the Archives that is strictly evocative with no direct promotional intent. Between the fish on stamps, naval signal flags, hibiscus flowers, an the alternating light blue and tan lines, the design is a celebration of American life at the intersection of land and sea or something.

Sadly, the evocative meaning of the shirt shirt practically implies that whoever had this shirt before me was expected to pay real money for it. That is not what keeps this shirt from being truly free. The reason that this shirt is less than free is because I found the shirt in a box along with some computer speakers. Abandonment disallows any potential claims of intended donation.

Snail Mail

The stamps on this shirt all have . Article I, Section 8, Clause 7 of the United States (“U.S.”) Constitution ⇒ empowers the U.S. Congress “to establish post offices and post roads”. The United States Postal Service ⇒ (“USPS”) is an independent establishment of the executive branch of the Government of the United States ⇒. USPS has a monopoly on all letters and mailboxes marked U.S. Mail within the United States with a universal service obligation to make deliveries and provide access to post offices to all Americans. It should also be noted that USPS is not UPS.

A single stamp covers the cost of first class delivery of a standard size envelope and contents per ounce. The most expensive stamp on this shirt is 33 cents which dates the shirt to January 10, 1999 through January 7, 2001 ⇒. The price of a First Class stamp per ounce had increased to 37 cents by the time that I found this shirt. At the time of the last edit of this page, the price has risen to 45 cents; though a postal customer is now able to purchase “Forever Stamps” whose value never expires.

I never got into philately or stamp collecting. My godmother gave me a stamp collecting book for one of my early birthdays, but I only had access to used U.S. stamps. I never obtained a stamp of any value beyond face. Later on, I ended up getting more interested in free shirts.

Receiving mail, though, is something that I enjoy though I do not always enjoy what I get. Anyone that spends enough time with me will also find out that I like to know whether or not the mail has been delivered. I am the same with email but email access is increasingly becoming easier and easier while that mailbox is not getting any closer to the door.

Pappy

There a three naval flags put into the shirt design for good measure. The first flag is a square flag with a blue square exterior surrounding a white square. The flag signals “P” when flown with other flags, that the ship is leaving soon when flown alone on land, and that the nets are caught on something at sea. The second flag is a pennant that has a square white half and a blue pennant half that signals “A” when flown with other flags, and that there are divers connected to boat meaning other boats should stay away unless they intend to hit that diver. The third flag is a pennon with a blue exterior and yellow interior with the meaning of repeating the first flag flown or when flown alone on an U.S. Navy ship on land that the flag changer is not on board.

Translating the three flags reveals “PAP”. Maybe to appeal to fathers? I doubt that there is any message that the shirt designer actually wanted to convey.

Go Fish

There are a variety of fishes shown on this shirt. All of the fish are shown to be colored as blue, yellow, and some have have light green accents. Some are shown to be worthy of being included on an American postage stamp while others are out in the middle of nowhere.

All fish are of the Animalia (animal) kingdom and the Chordata ⇒ phylum. Fish are animals by way of being multicellular organisms that have cells which contain complex structures enclosed within membranes. Fish also have a nerve cord and endostyle ⇒, as do humans. Fish can occupy other divisions, classes, genuses, and species. Thus, to go into further taxonomy a particular fish would have to be determined.

Hibiscus Throw

Hibiscus ⇒ flowers are the type of flower that are seen in the light blue and tan alternating horizontal lines in the background. Many hibiscus species, like the Rose of Sharon (Hibiscus syriacus) shown on the shirt, are considered pretty and are thus sold by florists based on looks. Roselle (Hibiscus sabdariffa) is a species of hibiscus used to make a tea that is crimson in color and served both hot and cold. Another species, kenaf (Hibiscus cannabinus), can be used to make paper.

All hibiscus species belong to the Plantae (plant) Kingdom due to being multicellular, possessing cellulose ⇒, and engaging in photosynthesis ⇒. Hibiscus are of the Angiospermae or Magnoliophyta Division ⇒ because Hibiscus are able to flower. Hibiscus belong to the class Magnoliopsida ⇒, the order Malvales ⇒, and the family Malvaceae ⇒ for reasons that I do not understand because I am not a botanist. Hibiscus is the name of Genus which grows in warm, tropical area of the world that tend to have a distinctive looking flowers grow on the species of flowers, shrubs, and trees. I do not know the exact species of the hibiscus on this shirt because I am unsure what I can infer about color or make out much of the particularities of the design of the flower.

Costa Rica

Archivist — Wed, 16 May 2012 04:00:43 +0000

Rich Coast

Costa Rica is known for wide biodiversity. Between the tropical climate, the relative prosperity of the citizens, and the lack of overinflated natural resources the conditions are ripe for nature to proceed unfettered by interference of greedy humans. I read that there are 35,000 species of insects, 9000 species of vascular plants, 850 species of birds, 200 species of mammals, and 150 species of amphibians native to the country. It should therefore be of no surprise that Costa Rica is of great interest to many natural scientists both domestic and foreign.

I Wish That You Could Have Seen It

This shirt features two designs that show off the country’s biodiversity. The front designs has a number of different animals and plants by day. The back design of the shirts is of a night scene where only the yellowed eyes and some yellowed outlines of the animals are visible. Both sides also have Costa Rica printed in a corner. I thought that this shirt had a great concept and slick presentation.

I did not have my camera on me that day. Neither did the receiver nor donor. This shirt never made it near any of the doors in the background of other photos in the dossier. No easy opportunity to take a picture of the shirt presented itself and this dossier is missing a picture due to my lack of thought.

The quick turn-around time from donation to my giving of the shirt to a new receiver precluded my ability to take a picture of the shirt. Looking back, I especially regret my inaction because I have never seen another person wear this shirt nor have yet to find a picture of someone else wearing the shirt since that day. My memories of the design is something that I hope that I will never forget because I want to be ready to get photographic evidence of this shirt onto Free Shirt Archive.

Quick Transfer

Donor & Receiver Sarah* called me out of the blue a day earlier to see if I would be interested in taking a tour of a local landfill. I figured sure, why not? The next day I traveled with her to meet up with some other donors and and non-donors for the tour. Donor, Donor, Receiver, & Proofreader Adam* arrived with a large bounty of shirts for my perusal. I selected most of the possible shirts, but Sarah seemed to want to talk about this particular shirt a bunch so I figured that she should probably have it.

I remember that Adam was concerned that my donation to Sarah ruined his opportunity to make Free Shirt Archive history. This donation did prevent him from the most shirts donated by one person on one calendar day, but it did enable him to expand his accolades to by making him a Peoples’ Donor. This made him the most decorated of the donors by making multiple types of contributions to the Free Shirt Archive. These days, Donor Adam still has made the most varied contributions to the site and he holds the record for most shirts in a calendar day which he has matched twice.

Another Man’s Odors

The tour of the landfill was a good time. There was free food and brochures available at a tent. Other people that I knew showed up. The big draw was the van ride around the entire landfill.

The driver was also the head manager of the landfill. His responsibility for the dump allowed him, in his mind, to take ownership of the landfill through the incessant use of possessive pronouns. This habit led to talking about the smell of the dump. Locals originally were concerned about his smells. State government comes out from time to time to make sure that he does not smell too bad. He is always looking for ways to combat his own smelliness. I laughed to myself.

Camelbak

Archivist — Wed, 16 May 2012 00:18:43 +0000

Come On In, The Water Is Fine

Camelbak ⇒ is a subsidiary of Compass Diversified Holdings ⇒ that makes drink containers with a specialization in wearable drink canteens. Camelbak was still an independent company based out of Petaluma, California at the times of donation and giving away.

I considered getting a water bottle made by Camelbak in the past, but never followed through. Fortunately for me, I was always able to obtain promotional water bottles in the nick of time thereby saving money. I currently use a purple Denali Air bottle. For many years until recently I drank from a blue Powerade bottle with nearly all of it’s paint worn off. I remember growing up with multiple co-branded Youngstown Pride ⇒/ Tamco {Safety Pride} water bottles that had leaky spouts.

Muddy The Water

The back design features cells of unknown origin talking to each other through speech balloons about intestinal ailments. As a layperson, I do not know exactly what type of cells are featured. If anyone knows what cells those are supposed to be, feel free to use the contact form or Free Shirt Archive Twitter ⇒.

Does Not Hold Water

I should have never accepted this shirt because of how much I loathed the image on the back of the shirt. The combination of lazy design on the part of whichever design firm got the Camelbak account mixed with my shame of one bad decision brings out some negative vibes. I do not like to bash or hold back; accepting this shirt put me in a position best avoided. Lesson learned. The reason that I accepted was because I did not want to hurt Donor Aunt Barb*‘s feelings when offered me this shirt. I realized that I could have refused in a calm, rational manner to ensure that the shirt could have been donated to someone else.

This shirt would have satisfied me much more if there were no back design at all. The vibe is very much of some designer somewhere trying to be funny to impress their manager instead of content that is amusing on its own merit. Juvenile humor can be funny if done with any inspiration whatsoever. Suspending information enough to allow the cells to think on their own is one thing, but when the cells are communicating to each other through thought that is even more of stretch which is not rewarded with any humor. Even reading those boring jokes is more difficult than it needs to be because the letters inside the speech bubbles are tiny and italicized. The tactic of introducing grossness is intended to inspire fear over a trivial issue that could be solved with soap and water.

Donor, Receiver, & Proofreader Brian* accepted when I asked him if would like to have this shirt, and I thank him for doing so. Yes, I know that this shirt is just supposed to be anything other than a way to expand the mindshare of a company selling bladders with attached straws. For me, it became something annoying. I think that Brian ended up wearing this as a work shirt which is better than it being in my collection.

Jim Beam {Road To The Rackhouse Tour 2002}

Archivist — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:45:45 +0000

James

Bourbon is a type of whiskey made from corn that is usually consumed staight, but is also present in mixed drinks like Manhattans and mint juleps. Beam, Inc. ⇒ produces a line of bourbons called Jim Beam ⇒. The corporation sells around 50 brands of spirits overall, but the eponymous brand is the flagship. At the time of donation, this shirt would have been commissioned by Fortune Brands ⇒.

James B. Beam is the man for whom the spirit is named. He was born during the American Civil War in 1864 and died shortly after the conclusion World War II in 1947. Within that time, Beam grew up working in the family bourbon business producing Old Tub bourbon before Prohibition. During Prohibition, he grew citrus in Florida. Once Prohibition was repealed, Beam built a new distillery named “Warehouse D”. One of his children and his partners founded a company starting from Warehouse D which they decided to name in honor of Beam.

Regular Jim Beam seems to have garnered a reputation for being a cheaply priced and not very tasteful bourbon. Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt? I would not know because I abstain from alcohol which renders me unable to have an opinion.

Are We On The Right Road Or Not?

“Road to the Rack House”, eh? A rack house is a building that holds barrels while the contents within age. The design on the shirt features a depiction of the outside of a rackhouse with it’s front doors partially open. The corporation’s main production base is the aforementioned Warehouse D located on Happy Hollow Road in Clermont, Kentucky which includes 27 rack houses. There is another distillery with rack housing located on Lebanon Junction in Boston, Kentucky.

Both roads are located within the Commonwealth of Kentucky ⇒ which is known for producing most of the world’s supply of bourbon. In 2010 there were more barrels of bourbon brewing in the state than there were people living there. Corporate distillers that operate in Kentucky in addition to Beam include Brown-Forman ⇒ makes Woodford, Four Roses ⇒, Heaven Hill ⇒ which also makes Evan Williams, and Wild Turkey ⇒.

Your Favorite Band Sucks And Your Second-Favorite Band Is Pretty Bad Too

A 23 date long rock n’ roll tour ⇒ was sponsored by the corporation. The headliner was Nickelback ⇒, a post-grunge band with strong arena rock leanings and a formula ⇒. Jerry Cantrell ⇒ had the penultimate slot and was a solo artist with backing band most known for being the lead guitarist and main songwriter for grunge act Alice in Chains. There seem to have been various opening acts at different dates.

I have not been able to find reference to any previous nor subsequent Road to the Rackhouse tours. My best guess is that the tour was an experiment to expand beyond a few “Rock the Rackhouse” rock shows that the corporation would be put on around the turn of the century.

I did not attend any dates of this tour; I have this shirt only because Donor & Receiver Nick* was thoughtful enough to obtain extras and give one to me. Truthfully, based on the lineup I would have been bored. I am just calling it like it is for me. The reader’s mileage may vary in regards to how much they like Nickelback or Jerry Cantrell, and no one is ever right or wrong about popular music.

My wearing of a shirt does not mean that I endorse whatever is on the shirt because mere consumption is not expressive of anything. Production, however, is expression that has meaning.

Bacdafucup

This shirt is rare within Free Shirt Archive for having only a back design. The vast majority of shirts within the collection have designs printed on the front. Some have designs on both sides. It was unexpected that any deviation from the norm would have been green-lighted considering how mainstream everything else is about this shirt’s design.

In determining which side is the front and which side is the back, I look for the washing instructions. Whichever side that the instructions are closest to is the back side.

Roces {Majestic Twelve}

Archivist — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:02:16 +0000

Your Majesty

Roces ⇒ is an Italian skate company that makes both rollerblades and ice skates. The Majestic Twelve was originally a rollerblade designed for aggressive skating which became the most popular of its kind of it’s time. Majestic Twelves were known for being lightweight and comfortable in comparison to other rollerblades of that time. The product retailed for $300 US Dollars in 1995 and was available in black. The model has since been revived, but in white and for half the price.

What is the meaning of the name Majestic Twelve? “Twelve” (12) is clearly spelled out, but there is a number 13 on both this shirt as well as other promotional material. The closest explanation that I was able to uncover is that the company designed the skate to fit so narrowly against the foot that the company actively encouraged dealers to recommend that customers buy one foot size larger than their normal shoe size for a proper fit. I presume that this design choice was meant as a dog whistle because that interpretation is not intuitive. The inspiration for the name is likely an alleged group of United States Government and American business conspirators that were supposedly sent a memo ⇒ by United States President Harry S. Truman ⇒ about events in Roswell, New Mexico ⇒.

How Much It Used To Mean

Donor, Receiver, & Donor Ian* spent most of one summer break getting excited about the Majestic Twelves. Though I did not share his enthusiasm, I understood his enthusiasm. He was an avid inline roller hockey player. Skating around all day is bound to make one notice the quality of the skates that they are wearing. He was not the only person caught up in Majestic Twelve fever; it seemed everyone else in that crowd either had their parents buy them the rollerblades or attempted to save up the money on their own. I was apathetic to both skating and hockey at that point.

When Ian finally obtained the Majestic Twelves he was quite ecstatic. He even called another friend and me over to show off his skates. There was not any roller hockey going on that day, so Ian performed a lot of grinding tricks. That was the day before a new school year started; The dragon was slayed, but too late for the victor to be crowned king. The rollerblades would still get weekend use, but not daily use as intended during the summer when the Majestic Twelves were the “it” item of a subculture.

By donating this shirt to me years later, Ian was in a way letting go of a part of his past. I was not expecting him to ever donate this shirt based upon memories. I did know, though, that he had moved unto different pursuits. I had also moved on from that time period as well with one of the changes being that I started the Free Shirt Archive.

I still strongly associate the shirt with Ian even though I am now the owner this shirt. Ian actively wore this shirt to the point that the shirt was known as one of his shirts. Generally, when a shirt gets to that point, I do not like to accept it. The difference with a shirt like this is that it seemed like Ian actively wanted to let go and that I could help him by taking the shirt. By that point, roller hockey had gave way to a career in another field and Daily Bread magazine was no longer cool to read while loitering at the skate shop.

Black Planet: Little Dragon

Archivist — Mon, 07 May 2012 18:09:58 +0000

“He Missed Her Crotch”

Black Planet: Little Dragon is an e-book written by Belinda McBride ⇒ with mononymic Zuri as the cover artist. The e-book is published through Changeling Press ⇒ which is a vanity erotica-only e-press. Little Dragon is the first of the Black Planet trilogy which also includes Dragon’s Blood and Tiger Eyes.

I have only been able to read this excerpt ⇒ from Little Dragon. The story, as far as I know, is about a bounty hunter named Rose attacking a criminal named Daryl. Somewhere outside of the excerpted passage within the reputed 88 pages of the e-book there is supposed to be explicit descriptions of sexual activity.

Frat Boy Rock n’ Roll, Usury, & War

This shirt was donated to me by a donor that got it from someone else who had it hoisted upon them by a person behind a table at a romance book conference. I can only imagine how annoying that must have been. I got the impression that all previous holders of the shirt knew that book on this shirt is erotica. I understand that most wear clothing in an associative manner and sleazy romance books are not something that is socially advantageous with which to associate.

I, however, do not consider my consumptions to be expressive. Production, as in the shirt dossier, is what matters to me. My dis-associative view of consumption allows me to wear shirts that express ideas with which I do not necessarily use or agree with like frat boy rock n’ roll, usury, and war.

Bad quality is more offensive to me than bad content. By this I mean that the existence of controversial content does not matter whereas being coherent and interesting does. Unfortunately, I have not been able to get the full text of Black Planet: Little Dragon to see if there is any literary merit to the title.

Feeling Incomplete

The lack of source material prohibits me from being able to respond in any sort of worthwhile manner to the e-book in any meaningful manner. Unless something has changed, no library in the world has a copy ⇒. I am not going to buy the book, nor do I want to pirate the title. Unless and until I can get this book for as free as I got this shirt then I will feel that this dossier will be incomplete.

I like to have experiential understandings to convey whenever possible. Sometimes, doing so is as trivial as buying a sub for lunch. Other times, the cost of money and time to take airplane rides within Nepal is prohibitive. In regards to other books featured on Free Shirt Archive, I obtained and completely read both First Second and Ready Player One before composing those shirt dossiers. Indeed, I also follow the direct advice of Read More.

A benefit of having the Free Shirt Archive as a website is that the incompleteness need not be permanent. Edits are easy. No one has to pay to obtain a new edition of my “published” “literature”. Fortunately, there is still an understood informality about the web. If the FSA were to be made into a large e-book or have bound printed pages there would different expectations. The satiric underpinning of the FSA would become distant to the reader placed in a context other than the web.

Specialized {Off-Road Crew}

Archivist — Mon, 07 May 2012 01:42:14 +0000

(We Are) The Off-Road Crew

Specialized Bicycle Components ⇒ is a company that produces bicycles, bicycle components, and bicyclist clothing. The company started out as an importer of Italian parts before producing the Touring Tyre. The StuntJumper model of mountain bikes initiated in the 1980s were to prove to have widespread appeal within bicycling circles which in turn lead to the mainstreaming of mountain bike sales. Brand dilution in the 1990s placed Specialized within a few hundred dollars of bankruptcy. Business has since improved.

I have not been able to find documentation of an official Specialized Off-Road Crew beyond this shirt. There is both a sponsored competitive racing team ⇒ and a Trail Crew marketing effort ⇒. Perhaps there was back in the bast, and I am simply missing the documentation.

Another possibility is that anyone willing to get the shirt is a member of the off-road crew. Being an audience cult member just does not have the same flavor to it for the purposes of convincing someone to part with money to fell like they are part of something greater than themselves.

TTTTTTTTT

This shirt indulges in neon colors. As such, This shirt is easily dated to the earliest of the 1990s. That era was the peak of mainstream acceptance of neon colors. If the colors were not enough to place this shirt in time, then the man in hot pink on the sleeve that is supposed to look street should.

There is indeed glitter on the “S” on both the front and back design. The glitter does not display in the photograph on this page as it does in real life. I feel that serves the goals of the Free Shirt Archive well even though justice is not served to the glitter. The glittery part is mostly lavender colored.

The company’s main identity colors outside of the shirt are red, black, and white. The niche targeted by Specialized then and now is the affluent bicyclist with money to burn. That this shirt attempts a cultural appropriation of urban life with an eight-year old’s palette makes this an example of the brand dilution mentioned earlier. Making a shirt like this in the early 90s was not about taking artistic chances. To be fair, few promotional shirts are. It probably would have been a better decision to maintain consistency of visual identity by either not changing to neon colors or stocking with neon colors once the decision was made to produce this shirt.

Dispute

The day of this donation is in dispute. Donor Aunt Barb* told me at a Thanksgiving dinner that she was returning this shirt to me from years past. I told her that I did not remember this shirt at all. No matter if it was a donation or a return, I am thankful to have the shirt.

For the purposes of cataloging within the Free Shirt Archive, I consider this shirt to be a donation. My interpretation wins out over Aunt Barb’s because I am the one that produces this site. She is not a regular consumer of the World Wide Web so I think that it is doubtful that she will start up her own site to counter my interpretation. The reader is welcome to come to their own conclusions with the anecdotal evidence provided.

First Second {A.L.I.E.E.E.N.}

Archivist — Sun, 06 May 2012 04:07:40 +0000

Seconds Are OK, But Thirds Are Rude

First Second ⇒ (“:01″) is a publisher of graphic novels. :01 is an imprint of the children’s book imprint Roaring Brook Press ⇒ which is owned by Big Six publisher MacMillan ⇒ that is ultimately owned by the Georg von Holtzbrinck Publishing Group ⇒. :01 seems to enjoy promoting their business in a laid-back conversational manner.

I enjoy that the name of the publishing company and that the logo is a stylized “:01″ to match the idea of time with the ordinals that the words suggest. I like this just enough, though. Clever business names do not matter until and unless a company can deliver.

& Sedition

The blue character seen on the back of the shirt is from the graphic novel A.L.I.E.E.E.N.: Archives of Lost Issues and Earthly Editions of Extraterrestrial Novelties. I present this nearly identical gif wallpaper hosted on the :01 site ⇒ as proof. The graphic novel was written, drawn, colored, and lettered by Lewis Trondheim, which is the pen name of Laurent Chabosy. Trondheim/Chabosy is also known for his own Lapinot series and the collaborative Dungeon series with Joann Sfar. :01 published an English translation in 2006 from the original A.L.I.E.E.N.: Anthologie de Littérature Infantile Extraterrestre EgaréeNégligemment 2004 French version published by Bréal Jeunesse ⇒. Only the short preface is written in either language. All of the characters in the main story speak in an untranslatable alien language. A.L.I.E.E.E.N. was nominated for for Best U.S. Edition of International Material and Trondheim/Chabosy was nominated Best Writer/Artist—Humor at the 2007 Eisner Awards ⇒, but lost in both categories.

I read and quite enjoyed the book. Even though the characters communicate through alien, the drawings are clear enough to understand what is happening. Most of what happens can be described as “cute” aliens acting unethically to each other. Their world is quite colored brightly on the surface, but the relatively disconnected plot is really quite dark in practice. Quite a bit like the human experience on Earth. So it is with practically all science fiction produced and consumed by humans. This graphic novel is best read as a quick, humorous read. Some tweens and older should be able to handle the darkness and the one epic toilet humor gag.

The shirt asserts that “in space no one can hear you read”. This is a play off of the tagline of the movie Alien ⇒. There is truth value to the statement as well because sound waves need something, like air, to travel through, and there is nothing like that in deep space.

Alien Blueprint

The possibility of extraterrestrial life is an interesting one to ponder. So far, there is no actual proof that there is life elsewhere. Yet, it seems so strange to think that humanity is either the most advanced form of life or simply alone through the the vastness of the Universe of which we know.

I realize that my statements about alien lifeforms are unoriginal both conceptually and in execution. So are some of my other observations on other topics. If I did not attempt to answer the big questions that follow from the shirts, however, then I would be remiss. I can not allow that to happen!

American Society of Mechanical Engineers {Annual ASME Golf Outing 2000}

Archivist — Tue, 01 May 2012 03:06:33 +0000

You Think I Care About Your Society?

The American Society of Mechanical Engineers ⇒ (“ASME”) is a non-profit, dues-collecting membership organization that creates and maintains standards, holds conferences, and publishes ME magazine ⇒. Membership at the national level is open to engineers and engineering students that work within any and all engineering disciplines globally despite the name of the society. Membership at the local level, or section in ASME parlance, is determined by address of record.

The ASME is one of the oldest standards-issuing groups in the United States. As such, the society is in charge of a large portfolio of codes and standards. A sampling of three random ASME stanards include Engineering Drawing Practices (ASME Y14.100), Nuclear Power Plant Air-Cleaning Units and Components (ASME N509), and Roof Deck and Balcony Drains (ASME A112.6.4). The most well-known of the society’s standards is the ASME Boiler and Pressure Vessel Code (“BPVC”). Unfortunately, the text of these codes and standards are not available for free, and therefore can not be linked to from this page.

ASME is unique among shirt commissioners featured within Free Shirt Archive in that the society was responsible for changing the law. American Society of Mechanical Engineers v. Hydrolevel Corporation ⇒, a 6-3 Supreme Court of the United States decision of the Burger Court in 1982, was decided against the ASME. The Court found that ASME violated the Sherman Antitrust Act, and was forced to pay treble (3 times) damages to the Hydrolevel Corporation. This established precedent that non-profits could be held responsible for violating anti-trust laws in America. The case is typically cited whenever apparent authority ⇒ is relevant.

Mechanix

Mechanical engineering itself consists of the design, building, and use of machinery. Mechanical engineers are required to understand and manipulate physics, heat, materials, and other machinery to create new machines.

Stroke Mechanics

Golf is a sport played with a club and a ball with the point being to get the ball into a distant hole within the fewest number of attempts. The sport is mostly played individually and mostly outside on custom manicured courses. Variants of the game include miniature golf ⇒, disc golf ⇒, and sholf.

Both playing or watching the game is held in high social esteem. Half of the appeal is that a golfer need neither to be physically fit ⇒ nor young ⇒ to play. The other half of the appeal is that golf is a status symbol. Players have to have the money to buy or rent a large set of equipment in addition to greens fees or membership. Add to that how much land the golf courses take up to give the players cover to go hang out at the clubhouse instead. With so much social exclusion, it is no wonder that the social climber would be interested in the game or that the market is so lucrative.

I suspect that this shirt and golf outing were both local ASME section initiatives. The back of the shirt is quite a bit more boy’s club than a national organization would typically want to be branded. Plus, there are also probably too many members of the society for all of them to fit comfortably within a single golf course. Unfortunately, the identity of the particular section that held this golf outing in 200, at which golf course, and which day of the year are not marked on the shirt design.

The Man

What did I mean when I wrote earlier in the dossier about the back of the shirt being “boy’s club”? This shirt is probably among the most obnoxious shirts in my collection. The incongruity of the dignity of a professional association and of a “royal & ancient” sport being contrasted with juvenile humor and drawing skills is quite unexpected.

The drawing of a man preparing his left-handed golf swing on the back of this shirt is so bad that it is good again. I openly admit that I ironically enjoy the man for being uniquely drawn. He had to have been drawn at some point in the 1980s; even then he would have looked a little odd with his MC Hammer pants ⇒ and totally black shades. His over-jagged look was low-tech back in 2000, and will only continue to stick out throughout time.

The double entendre “GOLF IS A GAME OF INCHES… SOME OF US JUST HAPPEN TO BE BORN WITH A BIGGER ADVANTAGE” takes the meaning of the shirt to a place that the man alone was unable. That man is now the symbol of both golfing skill and part length. Whatever advantage comes from those inches is countered by the knowledge that what balls the golfer has are teeny-tiny; what is length without potency?

NoCopiers.com

Archivist — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:15:54 +0000

Yes! Copiers!

Copiers are machines that produce paper multiples. The machines are a staple of offices throughout the world because of the utility of duplication. Indeed, it is not always advisable or desirable to only pass around one original document. The machines also provide aesthetic possibilities and limitations that have been explored on countless music demos and poetry zines. Xerox ⇒ is so associated with selling these machines that the company has to advertise against the idea that copies are xeroxes to avoid becoming a genericized trademark like heroin.

Copiers utilize different forms of xerographic, “dry writing” printing. The process is sort of akin to film photography, but also a bit different. The user places the item they wish to copy on top of a glass plane, makes configuration decisions, and then pushes a button to start. An image is taken through electrically charging a drum with photosensitive material on it, which is then exposed to blinding light, and then developed when the opposing charges of the drum meets with toner. The printing aspect of the copy follows when the drum with toner is then again transferred to a piece of paper. The toner is fused to the paper through heat.

The morality of a copier is neutral just like most other tools. The moral choice and will to do good, neutral, or evil through the use of tools is left entirely up to the user.

I think that means that copiers can be cool when the machines actually work. At the very least, I seek to defend copy machines from a senseless attack from seemingly out of nowhere. This shirt goes a step further to suggest a choice to negatively interpret the existence of copiers. Though the suggestion is clearly made in jest, there is something else going on to inspire an entity to spend resources denigrating an innocuous machine.

Boring

There are some shirts within the collection, like I’d Rather Be Juggling, that exist to promote an idea. There are some, like United To Meet The Challenges Of Tomorrow, that are clearly trying promote something which is shrouded in mystery. Either method can help to make a shirt interesting by being unique.

That stated, clarity and transparency are also appreciated. Most shirts within Free Shirt Archive effectively communicate their promotional message in an easily understandable manner. I appreciate the honesty in putting the message out there completely and letting others interpret that message.

This shirt, however, is an attempt to manufacture buzz through intentional obscurity. There is no authentic misdirected passion against copy machines. I get it; the company needs to “get their name out there”. Furthermore, the company surely is not the only one that resorts to these worn-out tactics.

Unfortunately, my commitment to the the idea of this site means that I have to fall into the trap laid out to “get a conversation going” about their product. Making this shirt a private donation to avoid giving the creator a mention does not feel right because I do not need to protect the identity/dignity/privacy of the donor or receiver. I want to hold the project and myself to a standard that all those that care expect. Doing so requires that I accept the consequences of my actions. Therefore, I admit that I find the meaning of this shirt boring.

However

I still like the execution of the simple design of the shirt itself. Thus, I correctly chose to accept this shirt and reserve the right to wear it. I do not always have the opportunity to only wear shirts that express ideas with which I agree. I do take comfort that most people are too involved in their own lives to not care to even look at the shirts that I wear in public.

Spirit Of The Page

That all being stated, Book2Net ⇒ is a company that sells a variety of physical book scanners. The company commissioned the nocopiers.com ⇒ website and this shirt to position the entry-level Spirit model ⇒ as an environmentally friendly alternative to using a copy machine.

The Spirit is a personal computer (“PC”) with a little table in front of the PC and a light with a camera extending from the top. To use this, and many similar book scanners, a user places a book on the table, a Universal Serial Bus (“USB”) drive in a USB slot, and interacts with the options on the screen. The available file formats to save in are Joint Photographic Experts Group (“JPEG” or “JPG”), Portable Document Format (“PDF”), and Tagged Image File Format (“TIFF”). At the time of donation, the machine could only be leased.